For high school seniors planning to attend college, one big question often looms: how to find the right roommate. While some might assume that the stress ends after committing to college, many seniors find themselves agonizing over who to room with at school. Some schools use an online questionnaire to create matches, or randomly assign incoming freshmen together. Mostly, however, colleges have their students fend for themselves over who they will spend the next year living with.
Currently, much like the process of speed-dating, many seniors pick their college roommate by finding other students committed to their school on Instagram and messaging them. Whether it’s best to wait before starting the search or begin immediately is a big question for many.
“I am not going to lie, I was stressed. Mostly because I felt as if I started later than everyone else who was committed,” senior Eliza Glick committed to Wellesley College, said.
The time at which you start to search could be the determining factor in finding the perfect match.
“I started looking for a roommate the day after decisions came out,” Boca Raton Senior committed to the University of Maryland Parker Landau said. “I started direct messaging people on Instagram and funny enough, I met my amazing roommate the first day looking.”
While some students meet and request specific roommates, others opt for random assignment. Senior Gaby Rothstein comments on the roommate process as a committed D1 track athlete at Binghamton University.
“My coach puts track kids in rooms of six and if you want you can choose people you want to be with. Otherwise, he just assigns,” Rothstein said. “I likely won’t request someone to be my roommate, but I will hopefully get to know my teammates more before I meet them.”
Whether they are requesting a roommate or not, most people find themselves communicating with other prospective students on social media before arriving at school. Instagram is a widely used platform, and many schools have dedicated accounts or websites to help students find roommates and connect with new friends.
“I met [my roommate] through the Lehigh 2029 college pages, [we] started DMing because we had the same nail set on,” senior Allie Jesner said, who is committed to Lehigh University. “I was just trying to make friends but I bonded with her and I can’t see myself rooming with anybody else.”
The process of finding the right roommate can be unpredictable—especially since it’s hard to read people online. While some students instantly click with someone, others realize that initial connections may not be the best fit.
“The first person I talked to seemed confident and funny, but I soon realized that our humor was a bit different from each other,” Glick said. “While we had similar interests, we also just had different boundaries.”
Students reveal that the conversations often start with small talk, and for many, the experience feels a lot like speed dating.
“I think it is [a lot like speed dating], because you’re talking to so many people at once, hoping you find a connection to build off of,” Glick said. “You’re essentially throwing things out there and hoping something sticks.”
The speed-dating experience isn’t limited to online conversations—even in-person events can feel just as rushed and repetitive.
“The whole pre-college process is like speed dating, I’ve been saying that for months,” Jesner said. “I had a Lehigh girls meetup dinner in the city and it felt like I was having short convos [with] people, the same questions about their major, hometowns, etc., just to figure out if we got along or not.”
Different students have different expectations when searching for a roommate, making patience essential during these conversations. Taking the time to genuinely get to know people can make all the difference in finding the right match.
“In a roommate, I was definitely looking for someone who matched my energy, had a bubbly and uplifting personality, and someone who liked to [both] go out and have fun and stay in,” Landau said. “It was also important that this person was clean and focused on school!”
While some students look for specific personality traits and shared habits, others look more for common interests and lifestyles.
“I looked for someone who had a cool vibe, I wanted someone who seemed confident in who they were. I also looked for someone who had good music taste, as music is a huge part of my life,” Glick said. “Luckily, my roommate and I are going to a concert within the first week of us being on campus. It was also important for me to find someone who was an athlete, as I knew my schedule might be difficult for someone who didn’t also have that lifestyle.”
Though it is an adjustment to have to live with another person, having a roommate brings the opportunity to build a close friendship.
“I think it’s definitely going to be an adjustment living with a roommate next year but I am so excited,” Landau said. “Ashley and I hit it off the second we started DMing and from there I knew we were going to be perfect… we both like to have down time [and] I think a good mix is so healthy in a perfect friendship. I literally cannot wait to live with her!”
Overall, students who have completed their search for a roommate are thrilled to begin this new experience of college life with someone else by their side.
“I am very excited about living with a roommate because it will allow me to share everyday experiences and always have someone by my side,” senior Roni Cohen said, committed to the University of Miami.
